


The Ballad of Alnifenen

by EmilyDragonette



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-02 19:33:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16311362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyDragonette/pseuds/EmilyDragonette
Summary: A tale of lost love, tragic loss, and silbling-hood that follows Vallas on her journey of self-discovery.(This is the nearly complete story of Vallas "Alnifenen" Lavellan and her journeys with her brother Inquisitor Sathrian Lavellan.)





	The Ballad of Alnifenen

(The Ballad is torn at the beginning, as if it had more to say...)

 

My true journey begins today,   
The day Deshanna came to pray,  
For my help; for me not to stay,  
For me to go away,  
To help my brother. 

I traveled far across the sea,  
My wolf Vun and me,  
To a new land, one I’d yet to see,  
Yet it had new dangers; on this my wolf and I agree  
On my lips as I arrived was one single plea,  
For my brother, Sathrian, to be safe. 

Haven was a place of believers and priests,   
A place meant travelers, and that is the least,  
My brother was joyous; In my arrival there was a feast,  
For the sister and her wolf—the beast,  
I knew this was where we were meant to be.

There were some there who made me smile,  
“Friends”, I called them after awhile,   
A dwarf called Varric with quite the guile,  
An elf called Solas who seemed to follow me every mile,  
They were not the least of it.

A day before or so to go,  
We left to bring back mages; a dangerous trip, we know,  
A foul creature gave me what I seemed to owe,  
His blood became mine; my eye his to own,   
With this fate, I became a demon.

I was healed soon enough,  
Afterwards, getting the mages was tough,   
Even through we saw through their bluff,   
My brother, in an instant, became rather rough,  
What he saw, I’ll never know. 

With the mages as allies and we fighters returned,   
It was now time for us to be burned,  
To the Breach we went for a victory well earned,   
And back to Haven for a sudden battle we spurned,  
I fought with him as best I could.

In this hectic hell,  
Under-midst the sky’s darkening swell,  
A power of mine awoken like the chime of a bell,   
I could drain magic whenever I yell,  
It was successful for a while. 

An avalanche brought us to our knees,   
The force of which nearly made us freeze,  
Trapped, I was, under the snow’s seas,  
Without my brother or anyone to set me at ease,  
Using the avalanche was brilliant, but it cost us nearly everything. 

With a little more than luck I found my way out,   
From the battle’s horrendous fallout,  
I was not cold as I traveled in doubt,   
That, if they survived, I would find their route,  
But I knew they were there. 

The road was fiercely cold,   
My brother, near dead, had been very bold,  
I sat by his side and, with a scold,  
Cried for him and his hand I could hold,   
And that was the first time I’d cried in front of him. 

Solas’ words seemed made of honey,  
Every time he’d joke it was quite funny,   
His friendship helped me feel sunny,   
But I knew he wanted more than to be funny,  
And I couldn’t reciprocate. 

To Skyhold we arrived; the castle of stone,   
It gave me chills down to the bone,   
While Solas had led and my brother had shown,   
Somehow I felt that my brother held throne,  
Even if he was never the leader type before. 

My brother was given a new title that same day,   
It left the courtyard warm and fuzzy like the middle of May,   
I couldn’t help but smile as he would briefly pray,  
Before holding up his sword, as if in play,   
He was now the Inquisitor. 

Pride for our cause seemed to flood through my demonic veins,   
Even though my body constantly went through pains,   
No matter how many binding marks were marked as gains,   
I felt as barren and useless as the southern plains,  
But even through this I still managed to be happy for him. 

My brother surprised me for our birthday,   
A day I was sure would be nothing but grey,   
He gifted me a tower so that I’d stay,  
And I gave him a wooden charm to protect him always,  
In this, everything seemed to be looking brighter. 

One day I knew something was amiss,  
It was the day Solas invited me into the abyss,   
Into the fade we went and talked in bliss,   
But I didn't notice when he tried to give me a kiss,  
I’m almost certain that broke his heart. 

In the middle of the night,   
A quiet thing that held its bite,   
I discovered the power flight,  
Not for me, but for other things in sight,   
I could levitate them with not near all my might,  
My mischievous side could only smile.

When my brother left for a few weeks,   
Leaving me alone with the mountain peaks,   
A new stranger showed up; red in his cheeks,   
For a place he could be safe from those he called creeps,  
And here he would be safe. 

His name was Fenris, a former slave,   
One who I thought was quite brave,   
He’d traveled on word from Varric, who promised he’d be safe from the grave,  
And that, if he’d help us, he wouldn’t have to live in a cave,  
So I gained a new friend. 

I first met him when my wolf was snake-bitten,  
In Skyhold’s gardens; the only place I really fit in,  
And from that moment I laid eyes, I was truly smitten,   
With a blue-lined slave; a tale that would surely be written,   
By our mutual friend who watched from the bushes. 

That night we partied and drank and sang,   
To tunes we made up that rhymed and rang,  
We kissed to the lively tune among the clang,  
Of the heartbeat in my chest that pang,  
And the world felt a little more complete somehow. 

All at once he pulled away,   
Letting the night’s darkness resume its way,  
The music stopped and I began to sway,   
As he said, “I’m sorry,” and walked away,  
He left the next morning having not spoken to me once. 

For a week I fell into tears,   
That only managed to clear,  
When Solas asked for my help with any number of fears,  
Wedged between his heart and throat and ears,  
And of course I accompanied him to save his friend. 

On we went to the land of the freemen,  
When we finally arrived his friend was a demon,   
We freed the spirit; the effort leaving me a drunken seaman,  
He did not soil his hands with the blood of mages who’d been beaten,  
And left me there with nothing more than a hard stare. 

Alone my wolf and I were once more,  
With this pain that we both bore,  
But the wilds around us brought back feelings from afore,  
And our wild spirits left us feeling sore,  
So we returned to the wild.

Because of my old mask,   
My brother had to change routes after his task,  
To save me from drowning myself in wilds and flask,   
In his arms I fell and unmasked,  
And cried myself to sleep.

Home we were, but the wounds were deep,   
From two men with whom I’d taken a leap,   
One who I couldn’t keep,  
And one who seemed to still make me weep,   
I didn’t know which one was which.

Patiently I waited for Solas to return,   
In my eyes my flame did burn,   
And my gut did churn,  
When he stepped upon those steps and I slapped him so that he fell; I learned,   
That a part of me felt something other than hatred toward him.

My brother took me with him to the desert,   
The “Western Approach” was named as it was: curt,  
I found a visitor in the fade when I slept on the dirt,  
Who apologized profusely and tried to flirt,  
I never answered. 

To a tower we went and found a horrid mage,   
Who was slimy and evil as he stood on his stage,   
A new power activated all on its own rage,   
My demon could heal wounds left on me by war’s wage,  
It scared the devil-mage and made him flee.

We took a new fort and stayed to rest,   
And summoned new help through our best,  
Myself, Cole, Cassandra, and Bull; the fighters who’d wrest,  
While Sathrian, Dorian, and Solas would cast spells and jest,   
With this team, we wouldn’t fail. 

The Iron Bull was a new addition,  
A qunari spy by his own admission,   
For whom fighting was mere cognition,   
And not something for which you had to “audition,”  
Said he with the mercenaries.

Now Cole was different from any other,   
He reminded me fondly of my brother,   
And when he spoke, his calm was a smother,   
For the demon inside who held his pother,  
And with Cole I knew I was safe.

To fight the good fight we went,   
Into Adamant Keep; we demanded repent,   
There were demons and people both equally bent,   
And the whole keep was drowned in death’s awful scent,  
But despite it all we saved more lives than we lost. 

In the fight I was grouped with Solas and the Iron Bull,   
Our group held the bulk of the force’s pull,   
As fatigue hit our muscles we felt like wool,   
But the demon inside was about to be a handful,  
As long as my brother was in my sight I would be sane. 

A dragon yelled its mighty wail,  
“An Archdemon” many cried, looking pale,   
The world began to crumble at the wardens’ fail,  
And our fall shook us with one final gale,   
To my brother’s hand I reached and took.

In the fade I was no longer me,   
My body held only anger and rage: no glee,  
Everyone stared and was wary, you see,   
For the demon inside had taken control in this green murky sea,   
And all I could do was watch. 

The demon would hear no reason from,   
Those who bound it to their rods and left it numb,   
We followed without resistance through the nightmarish scum,  
That called this strange place their home sweet slum,  
And I was powerless.

The place here showed many a fear,   
To our comrades who could do naught but drear,  
Into everyone this entity pried with it’s spear,   
Taking our worst fears and sticking us inside with a sneer,   
We were all afraid.

First came poor Cole,  
Who was seemingly placed in hellish woe  
“Don’t you want to forget?” The entity would crow,  
“I can help you.” It said in a voice of a foe,  
Yet Cole resisted with all of his strength.

Next came the Iron Bull, who I knew was afraid,  
He once told me he couldn’t stand the fade,   
“You’d be the perfect thing to get one of my minions laid,”   
And Bull nearly drew his blade,   
But still he persisted.

Thirdly came Dorian who seemed to tense,   
As the entity cried, “Is it your father I sense?”  
His face seemed to fall from pain so immense,   
But with Sathrian’s hand he seemed to shake off the offense,   
And he kept going.

The entity called on Cassandra next,   
With a thought not so complex,   
He called my brother a fraud; a hex!  
Yet she shook her head, merely vexed,  
And held her own at Sathrian’s side. 

Next came Solas, who wasn’t unaware,   
And as the entity spoke perfect elvish he began to swear,   
Neither Sathrian or I could tell what it dare,  
But I knew from Solas’ glare,   
That is angered him beyond his years. 

Lastly came Sathrian, my poor younger brother,   
Who was afraid that he was the bother that turned away our father,  
And held the fear that I hated him and couldn’t be bothered,   
To called him anything other than a stupid younger horror,  
And with this I cried inside, for it was wrong. 

But I was wrong about who was last, as the entity spoke its vile tongue,  
“What could happen in the future?” It sung,  
And before me I saw my brother hung,  
He had bloody fingers and wrists; his body swung,  
And I screamed.

My scream was enough to oust my demon’s specter,  
Who simply stared at me with a gaze as if I were a vector,   
He softened his look and recited as a lector,  
Things to make me feel better; things sweet as nectar,  
Then he returned my body to me. 

Once I returned we kept on going,   
Through the pain in misery that seemed to be growing,  
Past a graveyard that held our fears a’ glowing,   
We ran like a river that never ceased flowing,  
And Sathrian led the way. 

As Sathrian recovered his lost memories at last,   
Something odd, I thought, came to be asked,   
It was a silent question, a hold of my hand quite fast,  
I supposed since I didn’t let go I answered Solas’ question at last,  
I didn’t hate him after all. 

With my brother’s memories restored,   
It seemed to chime a chord,  
He fell to his knees and was silently floored,   
“It seems I’m not the Herald of Andraste anymore,”  
Which I told him was idiotic considering all he’d done.

To the final fight we went,  
Into the pit of torment,  
We fought the demon of dissent,   
And left his body to ferment,  
But not without losing the Champion along with way.

Safe we were as we returned home,  
The wardens were sent away to roam,  
And into the fray again we were thrown,  
Although this time we were forced to comb,  
Our unruly hair for the Winter Palace.

Into a dress I was fitted,  
One that glittered and glinted,  
This fate I was permitted,  
Was due to the Heraldess title I’d been outfitted,  
Which led to no end to Sathrian’s excitement.

My dress flowed like water,  
But make no mistake, if there were to be slaughter,  
At court, then I would be ready; I’d be the breakwater,   
But when he saw my dress and blushed hotter,  
I sadly knew that there’d be no saving me. 

To the Winter Palace we went,  
Sathrian, Vivienne, Solas, Cassandra and I were sent,  
We would be going undercover to find the dent,  
The person here who had horrid intent,  
To kill the Queen and take her throne. 

My brother and I were announced together  
“The Twins a’ Tether!”   
Our outfits matched and our titles were silly blether,  
“Inquisitor blah blah blah,” And Heraldess of the Feather”,  
I wondered why they called me that. 

The party scene was not my favorite,   
But still I was told to savor it,   
So through food oh so savory,  
And strange company with bravery,   
I found that I didn’t mind it at all. 

Around I went to talk with my friends,  
First was Cassandra, who seemed as uneasy as I in this lens,  
All she wanted was to find the loose ends,  
Until I inquired if she intended to lend,  
A dance for my brother; to which she blushed.

The Inquisition’s great commander was shocked,  
Around him were ladies that stared and stalked,  
They were jealous as he sought me out amidst ladies crocked,  
Just to tell me my dress was beautiful and gawk,  
And over in the shadows I knew he was watching jealously.

Solas’ mood seemed to improve once I found my way to him,  
He was happy to tell me of the servants that filled his glass to the brim,  
He did not hesitate to ask me to dance right then in light so dim,  
As his eyes, for once, were happy and not grim,  
Was this who he truly was?

Vivienne called me over despite my intention of, to her, not speaking,  
She told me to stop looking as if I was seeking,  
She warned me that I was attracting all sorts of attention; some of it reeking,  
And offered to help me with my sneaking,  
To which I agreed; the woman had changed since I met her.

Sathrian was busy and through the night he was stressed,   
We all knew he was trying his best,  
To save the Queen, a woman, you guessed,  
Who had many enemies as her guest,  
Despite the many guards. 

Into the courtyard; in pursuit we ran as the evil lady had planned,  
After Florianne, the Queen’s right hand,  
We made a stand,  
Though in hindsight, it was not so grand,  
As we were outnumbered. 

Quickly we hurried and to the Queen we proved,  
That Florianne was the guilty one, so she was removed,  
Sathrian was no longer by the court unimproved,  
And he was accepted and no longer disapproved,  
And I smiled when he and Cassandra finally danced.

That night on the balcony with a face red with wine-love,  
I felt as though everything went right thanks to something above,  
And his warm hands swept me off my feet—kind of,  
My heart sang sweetly in his arms; any anger void of,  
And all seemed well.

Words seemed caught in his throat,  
His face suddenly looked as if he stumbled over a poem he wrote,  
A breeze blew in, so he gave me his overcoat,  
And left me on that balcony barely afloat,  
And seething with heartbreak once more.

I was quiet the whole way back to the chateau,  
The place the Queen allowed us to stay while it snowed,  
As soon as I was inside my fury was shown,  
Objects lifted and were thrown to and fro,  
And everyone knew why.

My anger became sadness,  
And I suddenly felt blandness,  
As I fell to the floor in a heap of madness,  
My dress crumpled as Sathrian held me in arms so hapless,  
And cried for the others to do something.

The demon had struck once more,  
Though this time it was not from him, but his core,  
He was sore,  
And he needed my help to close this door,  
So I agreed in his time of need.

Once I was awake I set out in the moon’s light,   
Four footsteps followed, but did not interfere in this fight,  
I walked along on naught but might,  
To a graveyard with a single stone that shined bright,  
With a child’s name etched into its surface.

My specter moaned, a sound that drew tears,   
As he recounted his old life and all his fears,  
The child he held was sickly and she would have no repairs,  
So he vowed to bring her back no matter the cost or years,  
In this wish he struggled to play God.

The demon wailed and moaned and tried to pray,  
He was not strong enough to stay,  
He killed himself to be with her all day,  
But his curse wouldn’t allow it, so he was swept away,  
Into the life of a mindless demon until he possessed someone new.

“We cannot be separated until death do us part,”  
He cried out miserably, his sudden words giving us a start,   
Then he told of a symbol to keep us apart,  
To save me from the merging; keeping it on the girl’s grave was smart,  
We took a rubbing of the strange thing and kept it close until we got home.

Despite my anger toward him, Solas would place the mark,   
Across my shoulder blades it was stark,  
With every touch there came a spark,  
That made my skin ache and my heart turn dark,  
I felt more lost than I’d ever been.

To the “Emerald Graves” we flew,  
To help a rebellion and save a few,  
The history of this place was something few really knew,  
And something that intrigued me as my strength grew,  
As well as my feelings.

My brother took me personally to many places,  
And, thanks to Cassandra’s good graces,  
We did many fun things and showed funny faces,  
However we were startled at a letter then came to us in traces,  
Saying that our father wanted to see us.

Back to the Dales we traveled unhurried,  
A fire in both of our hearts burning unworried,  
It did not matter what he thought about us; this hurt we carried,  
We only went to put a face behind the man who buried,  
Mother and us in a past he’d never acknowledged before.

His name was Hawen of the Dalish in the Exalted Plains,  
He seemed very tied down with his chains,  
His eyes were sad when he saw us both in strain,  
Trying not to say something to put ourselves in pain,  
Even so, it was silent for a long time. 

“How have you both been?” He asked quietly,   
The worlds filling us both with fierce anxiety,  
My brother’s hands clenched into fists defiantly,  
To this I stepped forward with relative compliancy,  
This man would not hurt him anymore.

“Is that all you can say?” I asked blankly,  
“If so, then allow me to speak frankly”,  
At this point the Dalish gathered ‘round gladly,  
As I told this man what we so badly,  
Wanted him to know.

“Don’t try to be a part of our lives,” I warned,   
“We didn’t have you, and we’ve already mourned,”  
“I know you only want us because of the titles we’ve adorned,”  
“Never contact us again for any reason; you’ve been forewarned,”  
“Don’t expect anything out of us, because we expect nothing out of you.”

His eyes seemed to widen at my words of swords,  
“Your mother would be sad to hear those chords,”  
With that, I took my brother’s hand and pulled him towards,  
The future we’d made with our own awards,  
“Wait,” he called out suddenly.

“We could still know each other, da’len,” He wept,   
“Don’t let your sister make decisions you merely accept!”  
Sathrian rose his head and kept a hard gaze,  
“She is keeping me sane, and from an overstep,”  
“If it wasn’t for her you’d be dead.”

Sathrian never made threats lightly,   
When we were younger he made them nightly,  
Against boys that touched me or girls who deserved it forthrightly,   
When our mother died we made a pact to protect each other rightly,   
Nothing would ever change that.

Back home we went with freed minds,   
A weight had been lifted as well as some blinds,  
My brother and were bound in blood to remind,  
Each other that when one was kind,  
The other wouldn’t be. 

The next few weeks were spent preparing for battle,   
Our soldiers herded each other around like cattle,  
We all had a job, a place; no time for prattle,  
Not when our ‘King’ had to leave his castle,  
To go help people from here to there. 

On the wall Vun and I sat with outr hearts pounding,  
In tune with the men and women who were shouting,   
We were ready to fight, but doubting,  
That the army would be ready in time for the sounding,  
Of the war drums.

The Spymaster herself put us in the scouting party,   
Telling us our ability would prove useful and hearty,  
The air as we traveled farther south tasted tarty,  
Of the ancient forest we entered; we readied our quarte,  
And proceeded as quiet as mice.

Our objective was to slow their men,  
So we could get to the battle to find them like marsh hen,   
We burned their tents and stole their weapons then,  
And now we scare them with monster calls again,  
So our own army can close in fast.

With the sound of a horn we know its time to fight,   
We rain down arrows on them like the blight,   
To watch them run was quite the sight,  
Until they found us and started with knights,   
Then we were forced to take cover.

To give our scouts some time to fall back,   
I knew Vun and I would take some flak,   
We charged out to give them a smack,  
Vun was no more than a haze of black,  
And we easily took down the bulk of our enemies. 

However, an arrow found its path to be true,   
And buried its head, a poisoned blue,  
Into the heart of Vun, who collapsed askew,  
My body was numb as I fell by his side view,  
And cooed to my dead friend as arrows flew by.

Rage filled my heart,  
It filled every part,  
The monster I absorbed caused me to dart,  
I killed twenty men—the movement no more than a start,  
And broke off the arrows they shot into my body.

Off I flew in rage,   
Like an animal in a cage,   
The war around me now was mine alone to wage,   
No one else would die or come of death’s age,  
If keeping them safe made me a monster, then so be it.

The cursed beast we were here for,  
Was with his Grey Wardens at the front door,   
I stopped before him and screeched, “No more!”  
And struck him down into a pile of gore,  
And yet he returned. 

I struck him down twice more before my brother arrived,   
He dragged me away; my body and soul deprived,   
With the slam of a temple’s doors we were safe and alive,  
But I felt as though I were dead; derived,  
Not even my brother’s hug was enough to bring me back. 

“Calm yourself,” The demon within me commanded,   
“This fight is bigger than with what you’ve been branded,”  
His words left me feeling backhanded,  
And my horrid and deep wounds seemed as though they expanded,  
But I still refused to be healed.

I knew the demon inside me healed without my permission,   
Keeping me alive at this point was his only mission,  
Sathrian grabbed my hand and led me like a child addition,  
As I contemplated all the ways I could avenge or join my wolf.

“Ma vhenen!” I cried out in pain as I suddenly collapsed,   
My grief and hurt returned in relapse,   
My body trembled and lapsed,  
And fell numb as Solas picked me up: unabashed,   
All I could do was lean my head into his shoulder and cry.

They solved the puzzles as I recovered my sanity,   
Not that I had anything left of my humanity,   
Solas softly cooed to me in elvish; something inanity,  
But the words themselves were more than vanity,   
And I soon felt a little less like a demon.

In an instant we were surrounded,   
By those who were here when this temple was founded,   
Their leader held a call yet unsounded,  
As we explained, astounded,  
That we came in peace. 

They led us through the temple with haste,  
At every corner we braced,  
Dead elves were everywhere yet they were soon replaced,  
By the dwindling amount that still chased,  
And somehow kept us safe. 

When we came through the doors we saw quite the sight,   
Morrigan, an advisor to Sathrian, was in flight,  
She was a raven chased by the leader of the elves in fight,   
Who was only trying to keep things right,   
We hurried quickly after them.

Instead of she who wanted the power of morrow,  
Sathrian took it, the Well of Sorrow,  
Into the water that smelled of yarrow,  
He obtained the power he’d borrow,  
“To set things right,” he said.

Solas heavily disagreed,  
With the words he said, yes indeed,  
As much as I loved my brother I could not, in his case, plead,  
I agreed with them, you see,  
But I did not stop him. 

Corypheus, the monster behind it all,   
Took his stand ready to brawl,  
From Solas’ arms I decided to fall,  
To the ground I went and stood tall,   
As the others fled through the Eluvian. 

Once they were through it was broken,   
And with the monster’s growl was spoken,  
The anger he felt within his gaze unbroken,  
Held by years with words unspoken,  
And I was ready to fight.

“Prepare yourself!” I commanded,   
“I am the Heraldess who’s here to destroy the one who left me branded,”  
“They left you here stranded.”   
The monster laughed as his dragon landed,  
And off he fled to leave his men to fight. 

For the next two days I fought,  
Without really much thought,   
My wounds burned and bled, but I knew it naught,  
I felt numb as I squat,  
Next to my wolf’s tenderly made grave.

How would I return?  
My soul felt as if I was about to burn,  
In the fires of hell from which would finally turn,  
Me into the insane demon they all would learn,  
Couldn’t kill their enemy no matter how many times she tried.

I followed the army back home, I think,   
They had to force me to eat and drink,   
And they couldn’t bandage me until the sky turned pink,  
And I finally fell asleep on the brink,  
Of insanity. 

I was not the first through home’s gates of stone,  
I waited at the end of the bridge, alone,  
I knew they’d have already known,  
That my blood loss and weakness have shown,  
Any minute I’d fall asleep and let them take me home.

I was bleary and silent for days at a time,   
Only a word here and there during the daytime,   
At night I slept through grief’s dull chimes,   
And soon the weather turned to springtime,   
And my brother knew what to do. 

Vivienne was the one that healed,   
And Solas somehow became my shield,   
Deep inside I knew my fate was sealed,  
I felt exposed, raw, as if I would yield,   
To this feeling inside that grew larger than my grief.

“I can’t believe I’ve fallen in love,”  
“With a woman so stubborn and proud of,”  
“Everything that has given her the shove,”  
“To be here with intention as pure as a dove,”  
Was what he said when he thought I was asleep.

During the night I felt his lips press to mine,   
They were soft and gentle, and tasted like cherry wine,   
And sent delicate shivers down my spine,   
I gave in and awoke from sleep’s twine,  
And kissed him back in the candlelight. 

He was surprised, but nonetheless enthused,   
That though I was awake and bruised,   
And more than a little confused,   
I was no longer bemused,  
By my thoughts of quiet and somber hatred. 

“I have some things I want to tell you, Vallas,”   
“However I can’t until some things come to pass,”  
I wondered why he spoke so formally; as if he were on glass,  
But I realized why since before this he’d always been an ass,  
Yet I still don’t know why I fell into his hug and wanted more. 

The next day I returned to my usual self,   
I returned to my brother’s side since he couldn’t celebrate spring himself,  
A festival was put on in honor of our mother herself,  
Spring was her favorite season; a season on which to pride oneself,  
When everything was reborn, and she gave her life. 

Wine and giggles seemed to keep the night lit brightly,   
My brother and I danced sprightly,   
Until I gave him away to Cassandra rightly,  
And found that, though my heart felt tightly,  
I was happy for him to have found love. 

With a gentle tap on my shoulder,   
I was thrown into dance with a partner that seemed both man and boulder,   
The Iron Bull laughed as he spun me around with his smolder,   
And when it was done I felt ten years older,  
I leaned against him and tried not to cry. 

Dorian noticed, and wiped the tears away easily,   
And pulled me into a slow dance quite breezily,  
He spoke softly, and settled my mind with jokes that seemed cheesily,   
“Bull thinks too fast for his own good. He made you uneasy.”  
With that he returned me to my next partner. 

Varric was more than happy to dance,   
Though he joked his height didn’t give him much of a chance,   
He gave a sideways glance,  
And suddenly I fell into a trance,  
As I met Solas’ eyes.

“May I?” He took my hand,   
And danced with me sweetly in a manner so grand,   
The eyes of everyone seemed on us to land,   
“Don’t mind them,” He said in a voice like smooth sand,   
“They’re jealous.”

I stopped in my movement, my mind confused,   
How was I supposed to choose?  
Being with him left me feeling happy and abused,   
Not a good pair, so I should have refused,  
But how could I?

I blinked slowly, the lights and world seemingly nonexistent,   
This feeling left me more than distant,   
It was inconsistent,   
Yet so insistent,  
And I was a slave to it as I was before. 

I walked away quietly,   
That I didn’t look at him was irony,  
Because he looked at me silently,   
And filled me with anxiety,  
I ignored everyone and everything to be alone in my tower.

I stayed and waited,  
Like a princess in those stories I hated,   
A damsel in distress; only for saving was I created,   
My mind was empty and frustrated,   
Without my best friend, I felt alone. 

The window showed the world beyond,   
Mountains of which I’d grown fond,   
The way below seemed in me spawned,  
A slight curiosity of what could happen if I respond,  
To the sudden urge to jump.

Arms wound around my waist,   
The fingers were with my own together laced,  
I suddenly felt as if I were a disgrace,   
As a rotten feeling entered my stomach and held a foul taste,  
And I turned and buried my head in my brother’s chest. 

They were all here,   
I had no need to worry with them near,   
Their touches and words were of a comfortable tier,  
And my actions were no longer that of depression’s vicious puppeteer,   
My sanity was somehow restored. 

It would be a week before I felt like my old self,   
In that time many new carvings found their way on my shelf,   
I knew that to be true to oneself,  
And to know myself,   
I could no longer fight that which I felt.

I did not love Solas, it was more complicated than that,   
At times he made me feel like an angry cat,  
Hissing and clawing with the perspective of a shape made flat,  
But other times it was as if the world slowed with a peaceful chat,   
And in those good times I wanted to love him just like that. 

Soon my brother knocked on my door,  
“I need your help,” He swore,  
And off we went to seek the help of a score,  
From nothing other than the woman of yore,  
The great and mighty Mythal.

To her we pleaded as our own selves,  
It’d been a long time since I’d prayed to the gods of elves,  
We, a brother and sister, knelt before the altar ourselves,   
And summoned Mythal—a legend from a book on our shelves,  
And we bowed. 

She smiled down upon us and soothed our worries,   
Brave we were to come to her in our many hurries,   
She agreed to help us both in the form of leaves of flurries,  
A dragon descended with a mane of furies,  
“Tame it, if you would.”

It was easier to kill a dragon than to tame one!”  
My brother remarked when we were done,   
The dragon ascended and flew away in its stun,  
Sathrian was not worried; it promised to be back for the fun,  
And thus we went home.

Suddenly it was happening,   
The final battle was at our window, tapping,  
Instead of finding Corypheus trapped and cracking,  
He found us and instead was laughing,   
Out we went to face him. 

Sathrian and I were first in line,   
To kill the monster that stole our time,  
To this battle we’d taken a shine,   
And in it we would be fine,  
As long as we had each other.

With us came Cassandra; she was ready,  
Along with Cole; who remained steady,  
And our dear Iron Bull; he was already,  
Heading toward the floating rocks while the others makeready,  
To finally end this. 

In a blast of green,   
He returned the Breach’s sheen,   
The gross power rained over our scene,  
And filled our bodies with emotions we wean,  
As we hurried to strike him down. 

The evil dragon was summoned first,   
In his eyes he held an unnatural thirst,   
Our own dragon arrived like the well-delivered verse,   
Of a poem that from the pages seemed to burst,  
Into teeth, claw, and blood.

The orb of elves; his all-powerful blessing,   
Was thrown from the monster’s hands as the battle was progressing,  
The look on his face was quite distressing,   
As my brother caught it; between his hands was pressing,   
“Goodbye” Sathrain said with a wink of his eye.

Just like that the battle was done,  
We returned to our home; we won,  
Sathrian held me with a hug second-to-none,  
As we all celebrated and had some well-earned fun,   
At a banquet made just for the occasion. 

All around me my friends cheered,   
And I smiled with eyes all cleared,   
At the world around me I revered,  
My body was marked, for my life I had feared,  
By this journey that I’d taken. 

He was not here with us that day,  
Or tomorrow or yesterday,  
Just like that he was gone away,  
Like the fleeting light of today,  
He had disappeared. 

“Good riddance,” I halfheartedly mumbled,   
My heart was sore and my feelings jumbled,  
As I walked into his tower and my feet tumbled,   
My eyes fumbled,  
As I stared at the two elves together at its base.

I leaned against the wall and studied for a while,  
This beautiful girl painted brightly in his style,  
Looked exactly like me; no mistaking that smile,   
Or the hair so mighty it was its own trial,  
And come to think of it he’d always kept this part covered. 

Despite our Spymaster’s best try,  
There was only so far ravens could fly,   
“He is gone,” She said in a voice so dry,  
“He’ll have to want to be found,” She said, but why?  
All I could do was watch from the wall and miss my wolf’s company. 

It would be a few weeks after chaos’ chill,  
Before my brother was nearly an assassin’s kill,  
The screams were shrill,  
As my arrow pierced with all my skill,  
Into the heart of the man with the poisoned dagger.

Later that night the guards were doubled,   
I paced back and forth in a manner most troubled,  
Within me anger bubbled,  
Until a servant came in, untroubled,  
And passed me a note written in familiar handwriting. 

I unfolded the letter and let the golden pin drop,  
To the floor it went with a loud ‘clop!”,   
I looked to the letter and felt my heart pop,  
“Come with me and they will stop,”  
The statement sent a chill down my spine. 

Was I no more than ransom at this point?  
His words left me feeling more than mere disjoint,  
I felt demeaned; a dreaded midpoint,  
To myself I decided to appoint,  
The task of writing him back that night. 

The letter was gone in the morning light,   
“I can’t leave my family” it said; quite right!  
The sun outside the windows was a wondrous sight,  
As I went to my brother’s room at Skyhold’s top height,  
And found an awful scene.

My brother was alive and ruddy,  
Unfortunate guards were littered through his study,  
His eyes were sleepy and muddy,  
And yet another assassin lay frozen and bloody,  
In my heart I knew what I had to do.

Later that same day I received an answer,   
“They want you here with me,” The words like cancer,   
Lacing its way through my body like a quiet dancer,  
It’s call would not go unanswered,  
As I wrote my final letter. 

That night the thunder roared,  
My breath seemed to follow every low chord,  
Next to my brother’s bed I lay on the floor,  
And took each breath in level accord,  
I slept there during both our storms. 

Early the next morning I left my home behind,   
With nothing but the clothes on my back, I left nearly blind,   
I walked the cold path with my fingers in twine,  
Onward I went; I pushed home from my mind,  
And continued to the new life I so wanted to deny.

To my brother I wrote,  
“I did it to save you; to keep you afloat,”  
And though it tightened my throat,  
I clenched my fists in my coat,  
And kept moving forward.

Along the way I was found by a stranger,   
Though not one that seemed to endanger,  
He was an elven ranger,  
Sent to get me to keep me from danger,  
And lead me to him. 

We traveled a while just he and I,  
He told me stories of his days as a spy,  
Then, one day, when the darkening sky,   
Signaled a day’s passing by,   
He told me something I’d never forget.

“You’re a hero to us,”   
He said bravely, “And thus,”  
“We want you to come home with no fuss,”  
“To, among our people, discuss,”  
“Having a home within ours.”

I asked why I was, in their eyes,   
A hero and not some kind of prize,  
As the Herald’s sister, that word seemed on the rise,  
“The great prize” they seemed to chastise,   
But I wondered then why they let me come so freely. 

“You hold as much influence and skill to part,”  
“As the Inquisitor, yet you’re much more smart,”  
“Not only that, but your resilience is nothing short of art,”  
“And our leader loves you with all his heart,”  
Said he, the warrior with glee. 

Hearing those words, I traveled still,   
Asking him about the world from his point of will,  
And soon we arrived to the top of a hill,  
Littered with a shantytown that gave me a chill,  
But then I looked closer.

The town was tiny and brown,  
Yet no one here held the slightest of frown,  
They were happy and dancing around,   
As they overflowed with food and gown,   
They seemed more happy than I had ever been.

Their shacks held character that reminded me of home,   
My shack near the ocean’s foam,  
My beautiful land I used to roam,  
Just me and my wolf laying on loam,  
With not a care in the world. 

Upon my arrival they surrounded me,  
With excitement and every manner of glee,  
My arrival, it seemed, was expected, you see,  
A feast was tonight; I’d need to be  
Ready to attend the night held in my honor.

It was strange, I thought, as they took me inside,   
To a large mangled fort that still held its pride,  
And dressed me in the manner of a bride,  
In a flowing dress; “Beautiful!” They cried,  
And led me out to a courtyard. 

Alone I was left there,   
But feast was at sundown in the square,  
The ladies giggled as they left, I swear,  
But his gaze this time was somehow fair,  
He made me smile. 

His face was red with blush,  
And his breathing sounded as if he’d been rushed,   
Yet in this way he seemed as if he’d be easily crushed,   
If either of us spoke to soon to halt the shush,  
So we didn’t speak at all for a while. 

“Would you like to dance?” He bowed low,   
His hand extended like water’s flow,   
I took it and felt myself glow,   
In light of something I didn’t know,   
This feeling was much more different than before. 

The night was soundless and soft,   
It was slow and he spun me oft,   
Both of our minds seemed aloft,  
As the servants watched from corners lost,  
They prayed to themselves that this would work. 

To us, as the sun set,  
And night’s dew made the soil and leaves seem wet,  
Time seemed to pass not at all, yet,  
We felt as if this peace held no threat,  
While the whole world seemed to watch us dance. 

It would be weeks after arriving,  
That I’d find myself thriving,   
Among new friends my soul was slowly reviving,  
And with this everyone was desperately striving,  
To bring us closer.

I missed my brother every day,  
But I knew he was safe and alive today,  
That was all I needed to feel alight and gay,   
As the scouts told me of his search parties ways,  
They were looking for me. 

One day Solas brought in some friends,   
Fuzzy, cute, with many split ends,  
Adorable wolf pups who couldn’t make amends,  
For their mother’s wrong wends,   
And her death at the hands of another wolf. 

I cared for the young creatures,   
And just like with U’vunlea, I became their teacher,  
They somehow held looks just like my wolf’s features,  
But they were loud and angry screechers,   
Whenever I missed a meal. 

To honor my wolf’s name,   
I named the girl Lea the tame,  
And her brother U’vun the flame,  
For the attitudes they bore with no shame,  
And the hole in my heart they’d started to heal. 

It would come to pass that Solas was away,  
Because of this, my days were quite gray,   
I wandered the old walls astray,  
And came across paintings in my way,  
That were of my likeness.

These paintings of me, it seemed,   
Were everywhere; they gleamed,  
The paint was fresh, yet it was perfectly seamed,  
A perfect portrait of the girl he dreamed,  
The girl he wanted to stay. 

Two long years went by,  
In the blink of an eye,   
Our people became less shy,   
And ventured out far and high,  
To establish ourselves as a power. 

Into the place that we’d often frequent,  
The fade made beautiful from the time we spent,   
Our hands were held with lovely intent,  
“Will you marry me?” The words went,  
And I kissed his soft lips with my answer between them.

I heard of it then,  
Of a meeting again,  
To discuss the Inquisition’s men,   
And why they still held the power when,  
The world was at peace.

My heart sang with the thought of my brother,  
I knew that that envoy would be led with none other,  
I wanted to see him and with love I would smother,  
My dearest brother, there was nothing more I’d rather,  
Than to see you again. 

Solas and I argued over my attendance,  
And how, perhaps, I might be a dependence,  
I warned him that I held more skill and independence,  
Than he, my brother, or any warrior’s resplendence,   
Thus, we would attend in secret. 

It was halted, however,   
When we learned of an attack so clever,  
One by the qun’s endeavor,  
The audacity! I’d never,  
Known anyone to attack in this manner. 

We dealt with them quickly,   
But as we did my brother grew sickly,  
His mark glowed thickly,  
And through our mirrors he traveled slickly,   
To find our hints meant to lead. 

At the end of it all,  
The final painting of me stood tall,  
My brother began to bawl,  
And cry my name against the wall,  
As he went through the last mirror for Solas.

I watched them from the other side,  
Of a mirror so tall and wide,   
As my brothers eyes from rage were dried,  
And demanded and cried,  
“Let me see her!”

Solas’ hand went for mine,   
To reveal myself in all my shine,  
To my brother who could only whine,  
And wrap his arms around me like a vine,  
And pull me closer. 

In a matter of moments it was done,  
This moment we’d had felt as if it were none,   
Solas took his arm leaving him with only one,  
And I carried him through the gate to those I would stun,  
They were all happy to see me well. 

I returned to my place,  
And resumed my space,  
So that I could keep all things in pace,  
To keep the world; a vase,  
From breaking  
From a   
World  
Of   
Race.

 

(The end of the ballad is singed, as if there was more to be told.)


End file.
